Check out my latest book, Sick to Death.

10 Rip-Roaring Writing Prompts For Aspiring Authors

November 16, 2015
If you’ve ever wanted to try your hand at writing a novel, or if you’re an author who’s simply out of ideas, you might actually want to read this post.
I’m giving away story openings for free. Why? Because my head is flooded with them and I need to unload some to make room in my brain for more important things, like how to make a proper Vodka Collins, or remembering where the hell I left my car keys.   
Some may wonder why I don’t just save all the story openings for myself in case I want to use them eventually. Don’t worry, I have an exceedingly hyperactive mind that generates new novel openings and ideas every minute I’m awake, and every second I’m asleep. In fact, I just came up with the first two openings listed below while writing this sentence.
So feel free to grab one of the following rip-roaring writing prompts and add just a few hundred pages to it. We can talk about what percentage of your royalties I’m entitled to later, after your novel becomes a best seller. You’re welcome!

1) As he was finishing up a lap in the pool, Zack heard a loud splash in front of him and smelled gasoline. He looked and saw his red Samsonite suitcase in flames, bobbing on the surface of the water. That’s when he knew it was over.

2) “I’ll take one chocolate-dipped and one maple-glazed.” These were the first words I’d spoken in seven years.

3) The groom looked at his lovely bride lying prone at the altar and asked himself, “Why is it nobody ever has a snake venom kit at these things?” 

4) There’s a time for laughter and a time for dying. For Evelyn, it was a time for both.

5) “I don’t recall stealing any helicopters,” Angel told the detective. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I must tend to the goats.”

6) “You have absolutely no reason to worry about exposure to the toxic chemicals unleashed by the explosion,” the stranger in the black Bentley told Carmichael. “You’ve been dead for three days.”

7) Benjamin got out of the minivan to fill it with gas and smiled through the window at the little boy in the back seat. It wasn’t until he’d swiped his debit card and inserted the pump nozzle into the fuel tank that Benjamin remembered he didn’t have any kids. Nor did he own a minivan.

8) My sister was a real son-of-a-bitch back when she was my brother.

9) Chloe stepped onto her balcony, careful not to spill her tea, and inhaled the glorious morning. “Garrett,” she called back into the bedroom, “come join me. Don’t you just love it when the moon and the earth appear in the sky at the same time?”

10) “You really want to know how my sister ended up President of the United States and I ended up in here?” Xanthia asked the woman in the damp cell next to hers. “It’s simple. I lost a coin toss.”

That’s all of my story starters for now. It’s time for you to take one (or two, you magnificently ambitious bastard) and run with it. Or if you prefer, you can share one of your own rip-roaring story openings in the “Comments” section below. 


Check out my latest book, Sick to Death.


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