Boy Writes Girl: Life with My First Female Protagonist

For the past couple of months, I’ve been writing a woman I’ve never met. I know her every secret and can finish all her sentences. Her name’s Roxy, and I can’t stop thinking about her.

My wife, Miranda, is totally cool with it. Thinks it’s great. In fact, Miranda encourages me to spend several hours a day in a room alone with Roxy. Even suggests exciting risks to take with her and challenging positions to put her in.  

It’s not as kinky as it sounds ... unless you get off on watching an author out of his element.

Roxy’s full name is Roxy Scott—the main character in the novel I’m working on. (Yes, I’m writing yet another novel, despite what my tax returns keep telling me.) This is the first time I’ve ever written a female protagonist (a biracial one, no less), and I’m learning a lot in the process. Like what jackasses men can be, how much stronger women are, and how inconvenient and inhumane depilation is.  

You know, the kind of stuff pretty much every woman who’s ever lived has always known.

It’s not easy being a woman. Or writing one as a man. There are myriad pitfalls and challenges male authors—particularly straight male authors—face when writing a female protagonist, or any female character for that matter.

The biggest mistake so many male writers make in their books is the same mistake so many male non-writers make in everyday life: They think of women in an overly sexual manner. Even worse, they think as women in an overly sexual a manner. You can usually tell when a first-person POV story about a woman has been written by a man—you’ll catch the character thinking about or referencing certain parts of her body a bit too often and at odd times. The way only an idiot with a penis would.

“No further questions, your Honor,” I said to the judge before glancing over at the jury, beads of sweat glistening between my breasts.

The doorbell rang. Right then and there, while ripping the last wax strip from my bikini line, I knew Jack was dead.

Okay, those examples are a bit hyperbolic, but you get the idea. And if you don’t, go read a book starring a female protagonist written by pretty much any male author besides Kazuo Ishiguro, Jeffrey Eugenides Ian McEwan or Tom Perrotta. (Yes, I know there are other men who write women well, but humor me here in the interest of time and space.)

So, what am I doing to avoid introducing to the literary world yet another one-dimensional woman for the critics to eviscerate? What am I doing to help ensure that Roxy Scott leaps off the page with flesh, bone and soul, and makes readers forget there’s a man behind the curtain? Well, I’ll tell you what I’m doing …

… I’m listening to her.

I realize that sounds a bit woo-woo, perhaps even pretentious, but it’s true. I spent a lot of time “getting to know” Roxy before actually starting to write about her. I took a ton of notes about her imaginary past and present. I paid particular attention to her unique strengths and weaknesses, her habits and quirks, her pain and pride. Her successes. Her failures. As a result, each day when I’m working on the manuscript, it’s more Roxy guiding me than me guiding Roxy. She’s far too tough and independent to be pushed around by a mid-list male writer like me. In fact, she scares me a little.

That said, I’ve tried to not make Roxy so tough and independent she shows up as a machine, an invincible badass. This is another common mistake men make when writing a female protagonist. We try so hard to avoid turning the character into a clichéd woman, we inadvertently turn her into a clichéd man—thus making her easier to write, but unbelievably unbelievable to the reader. I’ll admit, there were a few times when I unwittingly started to veer toward over-masculinity while writing Roxy. Fortunately, though, she brought these incidents to my attention and set me straight. “Hey, Greg,” she wrote on my bathroom mirror in red lipstick one day, “I’m glad you didn’t try to make me a supermodel sex goddess princess, but please keep in mind I’m still a woman with wants and needs.” It was a difficult and awkward "conversation"—like finding out that your own mother or sister has a sex life.         

While listening to Roxy is essential and has served me well, I realize doing everything a fictional person tells me to do isn’t writing. It's schizophrenia. So I’ve had to learn to trust my gut at times. To rely on my male intuition about being a woman. (I’m pretty sure that’s never gotten any man into trouble before.) Not to brag, but after more than forty years of disappointing and aggravating mothers, grandmothers, daughters, aunts, girlfriends, girl friends and wives, I know a thing or two about what the opposite sex hates. I figure I can just extrapolate from there.   

But the truth is, I'm learning to focus less on the fact that I’m writing a female main character and more on the fact that I’m writing a human one. I mean, let’s face it, aside from the (usually) obvious anatomical contrasts, women and men are not as different as they used to be. Gender roles—and pronouns—have been bending beyond easy recognition for years now. A typical “he” and a typical “she” aren’t what they used to be. And that’s a good thing—unless you happen to get fooled while vacationing in Thailand.

So, I’m just going to keep writing Roxy Scott to the best of my ability, taking her thoughts and interests and motivations into careful consideration as we, together, push the plot forward. I won’t boss her around, sell her out, have her talk like a tart or make her act like a man. I’ll continue to honor her autonomy and her ability to make her own decisions, as well as her ability to deal with the consequences of those decisions.

Bottom line is, I’ll treat Roxy with the same level of respect I would any woman. Or man. Or anyone in between. More precisely, I’ll treat Roxy with the same level of respect I’d want to be treated with if Roxy were writing me.

And who’s to say she isn’t? 

YOUR TURN. Name some male authors (and/or their book titles) you feel do justice to their female characters. Or, name some male authors/books that DON’T. (Fear not—it’s highly unlikely any famous authors read my blog.) Also, it’s been said that women do a better job of writing men than men do of writing women. Do you agree? I'd love for you to share your thoughts in the comments section below. 

(In totally unrelated news, today [Wednesday, May 9] is the last day to get the Kindle edition of my latest thriller for JUST 99 CENTS. Click HERE to take advantage of this deal. Thanks!)