One of my favorite quotes about fiction writing comes from the late, great W. Somerset Maugham:
“There are only three rules to writing a novel. Unfortunately, nobody knows what they are.”
I actually DO know what they are – at least the first one. The first rule of writing a novel is don’t talk about the rules of writing a novel. Or you might get punched….by me… if I’ve been drinking. And since I’m a writer, I’ve usually been drinking.
Rules were meant to be broken, especially in fiction. Novelists don’t like to be told what to do, which is why I didn’t become a successful doctor or lawyer or businessman like my parents urged me to. Hell, I didn’t even become a successful novelist. (I’m rambling here because I once had a writing teacher tell me NOT to.)
True, there are certain rules of writing that should always be followed, such as never start a sentence with a question mark unless you’re Spanish, and never start a sentence PERIOD if you plan to write a romance novel. Other than that, break all the writing rules you want – but only after you’ve learned all the rules and when it’s okay to break them. (I recommend reading and digesting The Elements of Style, and then, when you’re ready, putting it through a shredder.)
Before I go off on a tangent (not that there’s anything wrong with that on occasion), let me hone in on what I planned to discuss when I came up with the title listed above, which I’m well aware ends with a preposition and I couldn’t care less.
I know nothing ever gets resolved through drunken violence; however, here are four writing rules I would likely ask to step outside if I ever encountered them in a bar:
1) Never start a sentence with a conjunction (like ‘and,’ ‘or’ or ‘but’). Or you could cause serious damage to your manuscript. And that’s why rule-breaking writers like William Faulkner and Chuck Palahniuk have struggled to sell books and make a name for themselves, right? But I digress. The point is, break the hell out of this rule whenever doing so enhances the flow of your content. Trust your ear. As Elmore Leonard once quipped, “If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it. Or, if proper usage gets in the way, it may have to go. I can’t allow what we learned in English composition to disrupt the sound and rhythm of the narrative.”
And Elmore Leonard knows a thing or two about writing. But now I’m just gushing.
2) Show, don’t tell. While this is a good rule, it’s still deserving of a smackdown on occasion. Too many writers (and writing teachers) treat this one as a strict law rather than as a general guideline. The thing to remember is this: Story trumps all. Don’t let “show, don’t tell” put a damper on the emotional potency of your novel or short story. It’s better to write a ripping narrative that sings on the page and reveals intriguing character thoughts, ideations and background than to replace it with an interaction or dialogue intended to “show” the same but that that isn’t half as captivating or rhythmic. Over-explaining is bad, but so is over-exposing. Sometimes it’s better to spin some gorgeous yarn than to clumsily flash some t*ts.
3) Eliminate all adverbs. (Like clumsily.) True, writing “He closed the door loudly” is a hell of a lot weaker than “He slammed the door,” but that doesn’t mean every adverb must be stricken from a story. Sometimes an adverb can strengthen the meaning and power of a verb or prepositional phrase, as well as the cadence of a sentence. Even Stephen King, who has said, “The road to hell is paved with adverbs,” has been known to toss an -ly word into a tale on occasion. (Notice I didn’t say “occasionally). Of course, based on his books, Stephen King isn’t at all afraid of hell.
4) Never use a long word where a short word will do. Really? I’ve got an even better rule – never use “never.” Not everyone needs to write as economically as Hemingway and Bukowski. Who knows, perhaps if those two had been less terse and occasionally let a majestic quadruple syllabic word (or, dare I say it, an adverb) fly from their typewriter, they wouldn’t have felt so compelled to make love to a shotgun and a shot glass, respectively.
Agreed, tossing around five-dollar words all willy-nilly reeks of pomposity and makes the writer come off as pedantic. (Yes, I did that on purpose.) However, there are definitely times when a long word is simply the right word. As the Irish writer and editor Stan Carey says, “Long words may be beautiful, evocative and forceful; in the right place at the right time they can delight our ears, tickle our brains and stir our hearts.” What a scintillating… I mean brilliant… no, I mean scintillating quote.
Are there any classic writing rules that really get your goat, work your nerves or boil your blood? Share them in the ‘Comments’ section below. And feel free to begin one of the sentences in your comment with a conjunction. Or not.
“There are only three rules to writing a novel. Unfortunately, nobody knows what they are.”
I actually DO know what they are – at least the first one. The first rule of writing a novel is don’t talk about the rules of writing a novel. Or you might get punched….by me… if I’ve been drinking. And since I’m a writer, I’ve usually been drinking.
Rules were meant to be broken, especially in fiction. Novelists don’t like to be told what to do, which is why I didn’t become a successful doctor or lawyer or businessman like my parents urged me to. Hell, I didn’t even become a successful novelist. (I’m rambling here because I once had a writing teacher tell me NOT to.)
True, there are certain rules of writing that should always be followed, such as never start a sentence with a question mark unless you’re Spanish, and never start a sentence PERIOD if you plan to write a romance novel. Other than that, break all the writing rules you want – but only after you’ve learned all the rules and when it’s okay to break them. (I recommend reading and digesting The Elements of Style, and then, when you’re ready, putting it through a shredder.)
Before I go off on a tangent (not that there’s anything wrong with that on occasion), let me hone in on what I planned to discuss when I came up with the title listed above, which I’m well aware ends with a preposition and I couldn’t care less.
I know nothing ever gets resolved through drunken violence; however, here are four writing rules I would likely ask to step outside if I ever encountered them in a bar:
1) Never start a sentence with a conjunction (like ‘and,’ ‘or’ or ‘but’). Or you could cause serious damage to your manuscript. And that’s why rule-breaking writers like William Faulkner and Chuck Palahniuk have struggled to sell books and make a name for themselves, right? But I digress. The point is, break the hell out of this rule whenever doing so enhances the flow of your content. Trust your ear. As Elmore Leonard once quipped, “If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it. Or, if proper usage gets in the way, it may have to go. I can’t allow what we learned in English composition to disrupt the sound and rhythm of the narrative.”
And Elmore Leonard knows a thing or two about writing. But now I’m just gushing.
2) Show, don’t tell. While this is a good rule, it’s still deserving of a smackdown on occasion. Too many writers (and writing teachers) treat this one as a strict law rather than as a general guideline. The thing to remember is this: Story trumps all. Don’t let “show, don’t tell” put a damper on the emotional potency of your novel or short story. It’s better to write a ripping narrative that sings on the page and reveals intriguing character thoughts, ideations and background than to replace it with an interaction or dialogue intended to “show” the same but that that isn’t half as captivating or rhythmic. Over-explaining is bad, but so is over-exposing. Sometimes it’s better to spin some gorgeous yarn than to clumsily flash some t*ts.
3) Eliminate all adverbs. (Like clumsily.) True, writing “He closed the door loudly” is a hell of a lot weaker than “He slammed the door,” but that doesn’t mean every adverb must be stricken from a story. Sometimes an adverb can strengthen the meaning and power of a verb or prepositional phrase, as well as the cadence of a sentence. Even Stephen King, who has said, “The road to hell is paved with adverbs,” has been known to toss an -ly word into a tale on occasion. (Notice I didn’t say “occasionally). Of course, based on his books, Stephen King isn’t at all afraid of hell.
4) Never use a long word where a short word will do. Really? I’ve got an even better rule – never use “never.” Not everyone needs to write as economically as Hemingway and Bukowski. Who knows, perhaps if those two had been less terse and occasionally let a majestic quadruple syllabic word (or, dare I say it, an adverb) fly from their typewriter, they wouldn’t have felt so compelled to make love to a shotgun and a shot glass, respectively.
Agreed, tossing around five-dollar words all willy-nilly reeks of pomposity and makes the writer come off as pedantic. (Yes, I did that on purpose.) However, there are definitely times when a long word is simply the right word. As the Irish writer and editor Stan Carey says, “Long words may be beautiful, evocative and forceful; in the right place at the right time they can delight our ears, tickle our brains and stir our hearts.” What a scintillating… I mean brilliant… no, I mean scintillating quote.
Are there any classic writing rules that really get your goat, work your nerves or boil your blood? Share them in the ‘Comments’ section below. And feel free to begin one of the sentences in your comment with a conjunction. Or not.
